Him To The Geek
had a long discussion with a neighbor about what's
wrong with America.
One of my arguments
we acquire way too much useless consumer junk
and are, in addition, spoiled by the conveniences
available at our fingertips.
The next day, right about noon, my internet
connection died, taking with it my home phone.
Actually, it was my new AT&T U-Verse modem
that had mysteriously lapsed into a catatonic
trance, insistently blinking red any light that
should be a happy green.
Two AT&T service agents were dispatched, neither
of which did goddamn diddly to fix the problem.
The second guy, I learned later, didn't even
bother to report his results back to the home
So it's now thirty hours later and I have no
phone, besides my cell phone, and no internet.
I'm evidently not going to get to see Beloved
burrito I had for dinner isn't sitting well.
In addition, I'm running
out of unpleasant things to call the
who earnestly vow that
is on the way.
At precisely eight o'clock
on Friday evening my doorbell rings. Standing
on the front porch is
an oddly disreptuable individual. While
the previous techs had been dressed rather dapperly
this fellow's jeans
puddled around his ankles like ripples in a stock
pond, and his face was obscured by a combination
of ill-cut hair, large black-rimmed glasses and
enough bad skin to float several dermatologist's
Without any introduction he asks where the modem
is and I lead him to the victim. He disappears
under the desk for about thirty seconds before
saying he knows what the problem is and he'll
be back in 30 minutes. No small talk, no commiserating,
no hand-patting, just up and gone.
Exactly thirty minute later he returns, plops
down in my spare office chair, effects a huge
goofy grin and says, "It's fixed. Someone
switched your connection
someone else's service at the main junction box."
I then checked and, yes, everything was back
to normal. That's when I realized that AT&T
had sent me The Geek. Evidently AT&T withholds
The Geek as a last resort, hoping against hope
will miraculously stumble onto a solution. But
circumstances sometimes go irretrievably wrong
and then, and
only then, do they allocate this valuable resource.
Who cares if he doesn't know how to look you
eye, just as long as he knows what he's doing.
I never got his name as he quickly disappeared
into the warm summer air but
I thank my lucky stars there are Geeks in this