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Religious Valentine's Day Cards


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Good Old Weapon Brown

Weapon BrownThis past Monday's Mystery Comic was Jason Yungbluth's "Weapon Brown". In case you missed the link I want to take this opportunity to encourage anyone with an active neuron in their head to waddle over there and take a look at this thing. It's dayam good!

Essentially, it's a post-apocalyptic world populated by almost every cartoon character you've ever seen in the funny pages, viewed through the intensely creative, though entertainingly warped artistic lens of Mr. Yungbluth. All of the characters look "sort of" like their syndicated versions but with a lot more "oomph!"

The protagonist is good old Charlie Brown and his dog Snoop. They're mercenaries kicking mutant ass and saving buxom maidens, all to earn enough jack to run the nuclear pile that sits on Charlie's right shoulder.

Intrigued yet?

If so, you can fine Page One here. You can thank me later.

One more thing... in order to fund a printed version of the strip Mr. Yungbluth is currently selling pages of the artwork for as little as $30. When you see quality of the art you'll understand, as I do, that this is a bargain! Needless to say, I've already made my choices.

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I had a blast yesterday putting today's cartoon together but it's only now, in the dismal light of a cold and gloomy Wednesday, that I understand that the initial image, Little Ms. Thousand Foreskins herself, might give one a vague sense of underlying pedophilia. Okay, over-lying pedophilia, but it wasn't intentional. I just picked the image that seemed the most appropriate and slapped the copy on it.

The real culprit lies with any story that uses foreskins as barter material for potential wives. It's not exactly the Fox and the Grapes, if you know what I mean.

'Skins-for-chicks sends the wrong message in every possible way. I mean, these weren't just a few foreskins that just happened to migrating quietly across the sand dunes on the way to their winter nesting grounds when David came running at then waving his magic sword, uttering a few well-aimed invectives. These were, I'm certain, basically penises with a little skin still attached.

Unwilling penises, too, I'll wager.

Saul's daughter may have been one major babe but I think I'll stick to flowers and candy as they seem to be working... for now.

=Lefty=

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far left side t-shirtIt's much too late to buy a Far Left Side t-shirt for the one you love and adore this Valentine's Day but that doesn't mean you can't do some early Xmas shopping. So get your fine self on down to the Far Left Side Store Donation Department and go nuts. Tell 'em Lefty sent ya.


end rant


What's in Mike's iPod?
Harry Nilsson's "Jesus Christ You're Tall" sung by JukeJeff



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The Far Left Side is a heartfelt conceit of:

Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
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Today's Google Chow.

I‘m often quite hard on the spiritual community, so to make up for it I’ve decided to create a valentine’s Day card just for all my religious pals. Enjoy!

*I want to stone our children to death with you, sweetheart. Deut. 21:18
* Let's have children in harlotry, darling. Hosea 1:1-3
* You're worth three hundred foreskins, valentine. Sam. 18:27
* I hear you come with the property, baby. Ruth 4:5-10
* I'd kidnap you anytime, sweetheart. Judges 21:19-25
*It's not rape if you give my dad 50 shekels, Valentine. Deut. 22:28-29
*You've captured my heart, now shave my head and trim my nails, Valentine!